It’s Grumpy Cat’s world, we just live in it. (Photo: Anna Hanks)

We Promise That We Aren’t Making This Stuff Up: A Field Report on SXSW Interactive and Film from an Embedded Correspondent.

Celebrities! Celebrities interviewing other celebrities! Cats! A panel on a cat video festival! A Celebrity Cat who is the biggest star at the festival!

A Female Orgasm panel which wasn’t shut down by the police and involved a lot of talk about meditation, vitamin “O” and the phrase “my practice.”

Then there were the lines! On Friday there was a 40 minute line to be mocked up into an Oreo and maybe win a giftcard! A line to get into the BBC Roadhouse party where you could ride a bulldog instead of a bull! A chance to pose on the Game of Thrones throne! Free men’s underwear in the press lounge!

It’s difficult to describe the simultaneous muchness and craziness that’s happening all at once at SXSW, all at the very same time. It’s kind of like the Internet come all to life, giving away free drinks, tacos and blue Slurpee-ish concoctions with a vodka shot in exchange for eyeballs!

For example on Saturday: Joss Whedon (of Firefly and Buffy) was premiering the Shakespeare film that he shot in 12 days inside his own house…while, meanwhile, catty-corner in the giant expanse of the Austin Convention Center Elon Musk was talking, followed not long after by former Vice President Al Gore speaking about Snapchat.

SXSW: where you can totally go to the party where you can reasonably hope to find the celebrity you’ve been twitter stalking for a year…assuming that you’ve both remembered to RSVP for the party and actually attend it during the three hour party window.

SXSW: where there are empty seats for the world premiere of Sake Bomb, but where Twitter told us that people were standing in line on the street to get into the Sake Bomb party before the film’s Q&A had ended.

SXSW: where there was a Doctor Who dance mashup at the BBC Roadhouse on Saturday night.

SXSW: Where the SXSW Film preshow reminds you that there’s no tweeting, talking, planking or Harlem Shaking during the film.

SXSWi: A festival where it really is all about power, and the mantra is ABC, “Always be charging.” You see people plugged in everywhere and sometimes a power strip trumps a free drink as an attraction.

SXSW: a place that sometimes makes us want to go home, put on our pajamas, and read about it all safely on the other side of the Internet–or maybe from this new Hater App that just launched at SXSWi.

Grumpy cat is taking over #sxsw twitter.com/annainaustin/s…

— anna hanks (@annainaustin) March 9, 2013

Doors open at 9pm for Pop! In & Party with @paypal @sxsw (@octopusproject& more) @mohawkaustin twitter.com/adi7anand/stat…

— adi7anand (@adi7anand) March 10, 2013

I think next year, #SXSW should commission Temple Grandin to design the line queues. #HugMachine

— AustinBloggy (@AustinBloggy) March 10, 2013

All you need to know about #sxswi: It’s 4:30 p.m…And I’m drinking a blue Paypal slurpee with a shot of vodka. twitter.com/annainaustin/s…

— anna hanks (@annainaustin) March 9, 2013